How to Not Take Things Personally

The podcast episode of this post is available on Apple Podcasts and Google Podcasts and Spotify.

DO THIS

Step back and look at the big picture.

BY DOING THIS

–         Put yourself in other people’s shoes.

–         Consider why the person acted the way they did.

–         Meet with them to get their perspective.

After a tense and explosive meeting, I asked a leader how she felt. “Fine; it’s not personal,” she said. By separating content from emotions, this leader didn’t respond emotionally to the theatrics of others and remained focused on the facts, objectives and decisions required.

Putting yourself in the other person’s shoes helps neutralize the incident. What’s going on in their heads? What pressures are they under? Mood, limited information and past experiences could be triggering their behaviour.

Checking in with the person after an incident to ask why they behaved the way they did will discourage future outbursts, show your maturity and improve your relationship.
To avoid emotional responses and regrettable behaviour, hold back from impulsively reacting to a tense situation. With practice, this will become habit.

KNOWLEDGE BITES

 

SITUATIONAL ANALYSIS TOOL: How will I keep things in perspective?

SUCCESS TIP

Asking the person why they did what they did in a non-judgmental way will avoid making incorrect assumptions about motives.